


In Technicolor

by DylanOhbrien



Series: Virtues in the Verse [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Developing Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5994472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DylanOhbrien/pseuds/DylanOhbrien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things about Simon that throw him off. Then there are things about the way that Simon acts around the others that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. And finally, there are things about Simon that leave Jace wondering if this is what falling in love must feel like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Technicolor

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Simon is super bi and Clary and Jace never became a thing. Also, Simon does have a crush on Clary, but nowhere as big as it was in the books. There are other aspects I'm probably missing, but eh.
> 
> For Ashley, my Jimon trash life partner.

They way Clary acts with Simon is pretty much a given, with them having been best friends since childhood. She’ll grab his hand and smile sweetly, and he’ll bump their shoulders together, or carelessly throw an arm over her shoulder and throw his head back in an uninhibited joyous laughter. Jace can mostly ignore this, continuously repeating the mantra of “they’re best friends, they’re best friends, they’re best friends” in his head until it sticks. Until the bitter taste in his throat mostly subsides.

Then there are times that Simon lets his true colors show. He’ll hug Clary a moment longer, rest his chin on her head, and whisper soft apologies about putting himself in danger while she clutches onto him for dear life. There are times when she’ll say something that Jace doesn’t understand, and Simon will smile at the ground and laugh softly because he completely understands her, and the redness in his cheeks is telltale.

Jace repeats the mantra.

With Isabelle, Jace finds himself lacking any sort of shock or confusion with the way she and Simon dance around each other. No shock, but still. _Still_. He knows the kind of person Isabelle is, and her running her fingers along Simon’s bicep, lips curling into a dangerously flirtatious smile, it’s all things he expects out of her. Isabelle is not serious in her flirtations. But _still_. Knowing that she doesn’t mean anything by purring sweet nothings at Simon doesn’t stop Jace’s jaw from clenching, or his hands from balling into fists so tight his knuckles turn white.

Herein lies the issue: Jace knows his sister doesn’t plan on seriously pursuing Simon. He knows her well enough to see she’s not being sincere. He knows she’s making it plainly obvious to Simon as well that she’s just having a bit of fun. Jace knows Isabelle. Knows the type of person she is. Knows her character, having been raised alongside her for years.

And in return, she knows him. Knows all of his tells. Can get a read on his emotions as easily as she could read lines on a piece of paper. That’s the issue.

Simon reaches out and takes Clary’s hand in his own. Jace’s eyes watch closely, not missing the soft squeeze he gives, or the gentle curve of his smile as he looks at her. Clary smiles back, and Jace finally tears his eyes away, only to look into Isabelle’s dark knowing ones. It only takes him a split second to look away from her.

“You’re not as subtle as you believe,” Isabelle tells him afterwards, when they are finally alone, and Jace knows exactly what she’s referring to.

The lie still slips from his mouth without him even thinking about it. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

He’s a bad liar. Too brutally honest about everything to ease the tension in his shoulders and stop his teeth from grinding together. Isabelle drops it, but the way she eyes him, a mix of pity and sympathy and sadness, it makes Jace feel as though she _had_ continued to press on until he broke and everything came flooding out at once.

“Okay, fine.” She touches his shoulder briefly, and the moment is over.

Then Alec. Alec who’d had his own set of problems to deal with recently, and thus had no time to notice his _parabatai’s_ inner turmoil. Alec who might not even look at Jace the same after he finds out the truth. Falling not just for a guy, but for a mundane.

Maybe it would have been easier if it had been Clary. She was a very caring person, Jace thought. Cute, too. But her hair wasn’t a mess of beautiful dark curls, her eyes weren’t the warm brown Jace wanted to look into, and her smile wasn’t slightly crooked but completely mesmerizing. No.

Alec, who has been so distant lately, and Jace yearns to tell him but fears making the distance grow. Alec, who doesn’t even like Simon.

At least, that’s what Jace thought. The shift in Alec’s attitude toward Simon is somewhat gradual, but Jace can pinpoint exactly where things begin to change between them. They’re at the Institute, all of them, congregated in the library. There’s a strange tranquility in the room, and Jace feels slightly sluggish. It’s one of the first times he’s been able to relax in quite a while.

Clary and Simon are frantically whispering by a bookshelf, heads leaning toward each other, but not close enough for Jace’s stomach to churn at the sight of them talking. He’s too far to overhear, but he sees Simon mumbles something incoherent and cross his arms, lifting his head and jutting his chin defiantly into the air. Clary sputters out a laugh, and slaps his arm lightly.

“You can’t say things like that,” Jace can hear her say hotly, loud enough for her voice to travel to his ears. “It’s not _appropriate_.”

“I don’t see why not,” Simon responds smugly, glancing down at her with a wild grin, all teeth and cheeks.

That’s when Alec moves. Jace’s eyes dart over to where his parabatai sits in an arm chair a little ways away, rigid and looking panicked.

“You okay?” Jace calls out, which gets everyone’s attention. Suddenly Isabelle, Clary, and Simon are all watching Alec curiously. Jace sees the way Alec forces his shoulders to slump extremely low. Alec isn’t one to hold himself up high anyway, but the way he shrinks into himself is a telltale sign that something is definitely not okay.

“Fine,” Alec grumbles, tone firm, and Jace is about to drop it and let Alec deal with it, when he catches those cool blue eyes flicker over to Simon and Clary for a moment. No. Not Clary and Simon. Just _Simon_. Alec’s jaw clenches and his fingers grip the edge of his seat for a moment, and then he shoots out of it and walks towards Simon with purpose.

For a split second, he thinks Alec is going to hit Simon for whatever comment he’d made earlier, but that’s not what happens. Jace is just about to move to stand to stop whatever conflict is about to occur, when Alec grips the sleeve of Simon’s plaid shirt and tells him, “Can I talk to you? Privately.”

Simon frowns, but doesn’t push away his hand, and spares a weary glance at Clary, who just looks on in confusion, before biting his lip and nodding his head. Alec’s hand slides down his arm and falls to his side before he stiffly turns around and walks out of the library, pointedly ignoring Isabelle and Jace as he does so.

Simon frowns, sparing one last look at Clary to convey he’s just as confused as her, before following Alec out of the library.

Jace sits back down.

Alec and Simon don’t come back for almost an hour.

And when they do, Alec’s shoulders are slumped and he hangs his head low, and Simon holds the large door open for him while he trudges back into the library. Again, Alec doesn’t look anyone in the eye, but it’s more of a lethargic sort of haze, him simply being too tired to even glance up at them instead of exhibiting the frantic nervousness from earlier in the day.

Then Simon comes up behind him, places a gentle hand on his shoulder. The kind of gentleness that Jace had only seen whenever Simon reaches out to touch Clary. And Alec… Alec finally glances up to look at Simon and doesn’t step away from the gesture until Simon lowers his hand.

They sit down, and no one bothers to ask what happened.

It leaves a bitter taste in Jace’s mouth.

After that, it’s like those two slowly slot into place beside each other. Alec still has trouble connecting with Clary, occasionally snapping at her or closing himself off, but he seems to have taken a liking to Simon. Jace understands the appeal, but no. _No_. There is no way he’s going to let Simon just get pulled away by his own parabatai. His own best friend who isn’t even into guys.

(He pointedly ignores the fact that Simon barely speaks a word to him that isn’t sarcastic.)

Their budding friendship is subtle, but not subtle enough for Jace not to take notice. And he certainly does notice. Every little detail. The way Simon will rest his hand on Alec’s shoulder and mumble something soft enough that only Alec can hear, and the way Alec just seems to melt under the touch. The way Alec’s anger suddenly flairs, and while Jace and been content to just let him steam until his anger gave out (after all, that’s the way it’s always been between them), Simon will shake his head and then lead him away from the source of his anger until Alec calms down enough to join them again.

There is another thing that catches Jace off guard is not only the way that Simon works on cooling Alec’s heated anger, but the way that Alec starts to discreetly shove Simon behind him in a moment of danger, holding up his bow and arrow menacingly. Simon lets himself get pulled around like a ragdoll, and occasionally Jace catches Simon peaking over Alec’s shoulder nervously at the danger.

Jace wants to say something, wants to ask Alec what it is that’s going on, because while he’s been getting closer to Simon, he’s simultaneously pulling away from Jace. Jace knows they are two separate entities, but for Angel’s sake they’re _parabatai_ , if there is anyone Alec shouldn’t be pulling away from, it’s him.

Still he does long to tell Alec of his own discomfort with his newfound friendship with Simon. Still he does want to confide in Alec about the true nature of his feelings towards the mundane. Still. Still. _Still_.

He keeps his mouth shut.

Isabelle does not.

“What are you two whispering about?” Isabelle asks curiously one day, and Jace perks up his head because he wants to know too. Church rubs against his leg. Simon glances up from the conversation he’s been having with Alec, and shoots a smug grin at her. Alec just rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, ignoring the way Simon knocks their shoulders together playfully.

“Yeah Alec, what were we talking about?” Simon asks smugly, glancing up at Alec with what Jace can only call a shit-eating grin. “ _Huh_?”

“Nothing important,” Alec grounds out, glaring down at Simon, but the look lacks an real heat. Like the way he’ll glare at Isabelle or Max or Jace: completely comfortable with the other person.

“You heard the man,” Simon tells Isabelle. “Nothing important.”

Isabelle smiles, beautiful and dangerous, and makes her way up to Simon, running a hand up his arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it out of one of you eventually.”

“It’ll probably be the mundane,” Alec says offhandedly, at the exact same time Simon snipes back, “My money’s on your brother cracking first.”

Alec fixes Simon with a look.

“You two think you’re so cute, don’t you?” Clary calls out with a small chuckle, and Alec frowns, but Simon only lets out a small laugh that leaves Jace floored by its beautiful sound.

“The cutest,” Simon responds.

Jace doesn’t miss the slight curl of Alec’s mouth at Simon’s retort, and he stomps down the jealousy welling up in his chest.

When Kaelie eventually points them in the direction of Magnus Bane’s location, it’s as though life has pushed on the gas petal, and everything is moving in full swing. They finally have a chance to get back Clary’s memory and find the cup and end this mess.

Then Simon gets taken by vampires at Magnus’s party, and it’s as though the brakes were suddenly pushed and Jace crashed forward, momentarily forgetting to breathe. Because Simon could _die_. Simon could die and everything would be over. He’s on edge as they head over to Dumont to save him. Clary is distraught, Jace can tell, but she holds herself high and refuses to let her emotions get the best of her. Isabelle is a sobbing mess, blaming herself for letting Simon out of her sight. Alec is comforting her, clinging onto his sister as she cries, but he can see by the stiffness in his shoulders and the hardness of his eyes that he‘s also worried.

Jace wonders what he looks like, how he must be holding himself.

Izzy and Alec head back to the Institute, but not before Alec grips his shoulder and tells Jace. “Get him back, Jace.”

“I will,” Jace says. “I will.”

It takes some coaxing to get Magnus to tell them where the vampires might have gone, and eventually he points them uptown to the Hotel Dumont. Raphael leads them inside, eventually betrays them, when one of the vampires finally brings out Simon, Simon wriggles out of his grip and runs off.

Everything was a blur. Raphael snapped at Jace with his fangs, Clary desperately tried to shove him away while keeping Simon safe, and Simon launched himself at Raphael and bit him square on the arm. However, it’s eventually the werewolves that throw Jace off.

They attack, and all Jace can think is _The Accords_ , followed by _Simon_.

Simon doesn’t disappoint, scurrying across the floor and leading Clary and Jace to an exit, and Jace holds himself back from picking him up off the ground and kissing his furry little head. Then Clary stabs a werewolf in the shoulder with Jace’s dagger and they abscond with Simon safely tucked into Clary’s sweater.

Hijacking a vampire motorcycle that runs on demon energy is a strange thrill of fun. Almost falling to your death because of dawn is not. Still though, they crash to the ground and Clary is frantically looking for Simon the rat, and after a few panicked pats at the grass, they hear a distinctly human groan of pain. Clary’s head snaps up to see Simon writhing in uncomfortable pain in the grass, clutching his head.

“That sucked and I never want to do that again,” Simon mumbles, sitting up, brown eyes blinking wide. Without his glasses, Simon’s eyes look even more mesmerizing.

“Simon! You’re alright,” Clary all but crawls her way over to her best friend, while Jace trails behind her slightly.

Simon looks at her like someone would look at the moon, like she’s beautiful and mysterious and amazing.

“I thought- I thought you wouldn’t…” Simon starts.

“Come back for you?” Jace finishes, and Clary looks scandalized when Simon mutely nods his head.

“Of course I would,” Clary says, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "I'll always come back for you."

Jace looks away.

When they get back to the Institute, Jace is practically carrying Simon, arms wrapped around his middle to hold him upright. As the minutes tick by, Simon becomes more lethargic and sluggish, voice slurring as he speaks.

‘ _Must be all of the events of last night finally catching up to him_ ,’ Jace thinks. The magic used on him, being a rat, and being rattled around by both the vampires and Clary during their altercation must not have been a walk in the park.

“Hey, man,” Simon says, breath fanning out on Jace’s neck. “Thanks for, like, saving my life. Really appreciate it. I’ll, I don’t know, dress in a nurse’s outfit and give you a sponge bath or something. Just as soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome.”

Jace has never been more grateful that he’s not one for blushing.

They get him into the Institute and into a bed, and Alec and Izzy descend on them immediately, eyeing Simon with a deep relief. Hodge is less than pleased, though, and makes Alec and Isabelle take Simon off to the infirmary. Jace almost doesn’t want to let him go, but complies and reluctantly releases him into Alec’s arms.

Clary’s tell him her birthday is tomorrow, and she expresses her worries to him in the greenhouse. Jace hugs her, and she moves her arms to rest around his frame. It’s a nice comfort, Jace thinks. Not just for Clary, but for him as well. It’s easier to think of her as a friend now.

They head back to the infirmary after midnight. Clary wants to check up on Simon, and Jace pretends to indulge her in that request, all the while not letting her know how much he wants to see Simon as well. They’d seen him a few hours ago, while Hodge was feeding him a tincture to make him feel better. Aside from a small cut on his forehead and a few scrapes on his arms and legs, and the admittedly terribly broken bone in his foot, Simon is mostly fine. But his exhaustion kept him from being very coherent by the time they first arrived.

He’s not sleeping when they arrive, but the bags under his eyes and the paleness of his skin give away his poor health.  _Those vampires_ , Jace, thinks bitterly, _really did a number on him_.

“Nice to see you two finally came to visit little old me,” Simon says when he spots them. “My heroes. Took you long enough. Alec was here earlier talking my ear off for like fifteen minutes about irresponsibility before Isabelle made him back off. It was hilarious. Even Church came to sit on my injured foot and purr. Didn’t do anything, but hey, I appreciated the gesture.”

“Glad to see you still have that charming sense of humor,” Clary says, sitting at the edge of the bed and holding his hand.

“I doubt anything could get rid of that,” Simon says, and Clary smiles softly.

Jace stands off to the side, hands in his pocket, feeling awkward and intrusive. This is Simon and Clary’s moment, after all. He has no right to it.

“Uh, Jace? Can I talk to Clary for a minute?” Simon asks after a moment, voice coming out a little raspy. “Alone.”

“Of course,” Jace nods, and moves to turn around. But he has to say something. He can’t leave it at that. “Feel better, Simon.”

“Thanks, Jace,” Simon says, and it’s the first smile that Jace has ever received from Simon. No matter how miniscule or subtle. He tucks the memory away in his head, and he knows he’ll be thinking about it later on when he climbs into bed.

He goes to leave them alone, truly he does. But when he hears the start of their soft conversation, the booming in his heart stops him in his tracks. Simon makes the decision to go back home, telling Clary he simply doesn’t have the heart to handle it all.

“I’m not cut out for this, Clary,” Simon whispers, and his voice sounds painfully honest. He lets out a ragged breath. Those vampires truly did a number on him. “This whole thing, I mean. Shadowhunters, vampires, warlocks, demons, _all of it_. For crying out loud, I was a rat, Clary. I want to go home.”

Jace knows he isn’t supposed to overhear, but he does, and it hurts to hear Simon talk about this world - Jace’s world - and say that he cannot be a part of it.

“But Simon-” Clary says, and she sounds just as desperate as Jace feels.

“Clary, I love you, I really do,” Simon stops her, and his words cut into Jace like a knife. This is how it goes, does it not? Best friends finally grow so close their platonic feelings morph into something more. “And I will always be there for you, but right now I think I need to distance myself from all of this. And anyway, my mom’s probably worried sick.”

“We could give her a call,” Clary says weakly. “Tell her what’s going on, maybe.”

Oh. Oh, she’s going to let him leave.

“And have my mom call me crazy? No, thanks. Look, Jace was right about me,” Simon says after a pause, and Jace stops breathing because _what_? “I’m nothing but a mundane. I’m not cut out for this world, even if I wanted to be a part of it.”

 _Even if I wanted to be a part of it_. If. Simon didn’t ask for any of this, and he doesn’t want it.

“ _Simon_.” Clary says, and it sounds like she’s only a moment away from crying. “Simon, I don’t know if I can do this without you.”

“I’ll be here for you, I promise,” Simon says, and there is no waver in his voice. “But Clary, this is _your_ world. I don’t belong here. Just… Just give me some time. Please.”

“How much time?” A sniffle. Clary is crying.

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

“I love you too, Simon.”

“I know.”

And Clary laughs.

Simon leaves in the morning after being healed, squinting at the early morning light and shielding his eyes. Jace watches from the entrance with Alec and Izzy while Clary practically hugs the life out of her best friend. Jace watches as Simon leaves the Institute to go back to his mundane life. It leaves a hole in his chest.

Two days go by achingly slow and Clary locks herself away for most of it. Jace checks on her a handful of times, finding that with each time he ventures into her room, more crumbled up pieces of paper have found their way to the floor. Clary mostly ignores him whenever he shows up, just presses her pencil harder against the current piece of paper she’s scribbling on.

Jace doesn’t know what it is she’s trying to so, but Simon’s leaving is obviously hitting her extremely hard.

When Clary bursts into his room on the end of the second day, clutching a dangerous amount of papers in her hands, Jace finally learns what all that intense drawing had been about. She’s figured it out. Clary knows where the cup finally is. And it’s in a fucking card.

As the sun rises, Jace finally tells Isabelle and Alec. It takes some coaxing to get Alec to agree to the plan. The plan being that they forego telling the Clave about the location of the cup and go retrieve it themselves. The less people know about its location, the better. When Alec finally relents, Jace starts their planning.

“I want to have complete control of the environment we’re entering,” Jace tells Alec, Isabelle, and Clary. “We should get a car, preferably a big one.”

“Do you have a driver’s license or a car?” Alec asks Clary. “I thought most mundanes had those.”

“Not at my age,” Clary snaps. “I was going to get one this year, but obviously I couldn’t get around to it in time. The only people I know with a license are Eric and Simon.”

“Simon has a license?” Jace asked Clary, and even though he’s thinking about it, he can’t bring himself to ask Clary. After all, he wants to respect Simon’s wishes. Even though those wishes of his are not wishes he is supposed to even be aware of.

“I should call him,” Clary says, but she hesitates. She hesitates and Jace knows why.

But they need a ride to the damned cup, and so Clary clutches her phone against her chest.

“He said he didn’t want to be a part of this, Clary,” Jace warns quietly. “Remember that.”

“I know that,” Clary snaps, and he’s reminded of just how frightening this small girl can actually be. “I know that. But I don’t think we have much of a choice. Simon has a license, and he has our friend Eric’s van. He can drive us. I know what he said about separating himself from the Shadow World, but I also know if it comes down to it, he’ll help. He has to.”

She calls him, and after a hushed conversation where Clary looks like she might cry, she puts down her phone and looks at him with those striking green eyes of hers. “He’s coming.”

A minute later she squints, wiping away the moisture in her eyes. “Hey, uh, Jace?”

“What?”

“How did you know that Simon didn’t want to be involved with the Shadow World? I mean, we didn’t tell you guys why he was leaving the Institute the other day,” Clary asks, and Jace can feel his defense crumbling. She has him.

“I overheard you two talking in the infirmary.” No use lying. “He said he didn’t want to get involved.”

Clary eyes him. “And do you agree with him?” She finally says, foregoing any scolding about listening in to a conversation he wasn’t meant to overhear. “Do you agree that he’s not meant to be a part of the Shadow World?”

If it keeps him out of danger, perhaps. If it keeps him away from Jace, then he’s not so sure anymore.

“He’s a mundane,” Jace says after a pause.

Clary scowls, and her eyes turn hard. “I think he’s far more than just a _mundane_. He knows the truth now. This world is just as much his to claim as it is yours or mine.”

The words ‘ _that is not what I meant_ ’ are on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t get to say them because Clary storms away to stand by Isabelle.

It’s all fine by Jace. He just moves to stand next to Alec and wait for Simon to show up. Jace feels a shiver run up his spine. And it hasn’t been long, but seeing Simon again, pulling up in that hideous yellow van, honking away to his heart’s content, it takes Jace’s breath away.

“Thanks for waking me up at the ass crack of dawn,” Simon says, rolling down the dingy window and smiling widely at Clary and Jace and Alec and Isabelle while they pile out of the Institute. The rain drizzles into the open window, landing on Simon and the empty seat next to him.

He looks better now, much better. Perhaps being away from this world has done him some good. A part of him still looks slightly sickly, and his skin is still pale and clammy, but he’s smiling and joking and it’s enough for Jace for now. Despite his hushed confession about wanting out of this entire shadowhunter mess, he still willingly puts himself in the epicenter for Clary.

Jace thinks back to what he told her. _I’ll be there for you, I promise_.

“Is that thing safe?” Isabelle asks, wrinkling her nose when Alec pulls open the door of the van to reveal the disaster inside. Whoever this Eric is, he has no sense of responsibility when it comes for caring for his property.

"Safer than being strapped to the roof," Simon chirps. "Which is your other option. Hey, by the way.”

“Hey indeed,” Jace answers, and beats Clary to the front seat, pushing his wet hair out of his face. The others give him a weird look, but Jace simply ignores it, shoving all of the loose wrappers and trash onto the floor of the van before sitting in the seat.

He also pointedly ignores the confused look that Simon gives him before Simon seems to just shrug it off and glance towards the back of the van, where Isabelle, Clary, and Alec are piling inside. “That’s a nice bow you got there, Alec.”

“Do you even know anything about archery?” Alec asks, voice full of doubt.

“As a matter of fact, mister sourpuss, I did archery at camp. Six years running.” Simon sticks out his tongue.

Alec rolls his eyes. “Just drive.”

The drive to Clary’s house to finally get the cup that’s caused them all so much trouble isn’t a short one, and Jace is constantly aware of Simon’s presence next to him, just a few inches away from touching. His fingers twitch. Perhaps it is a short one, but with Simon so close it certainly feels like one.

Managing to convince Simon to wait outside while they went in was not an easy task. Simon, at first, had been adamant about following them into Clary’s home, just in case.

“You’re a mundane,” Jace says, and he doesn’t mean it to sound offensive, but it just comes out like that. He doesn’t miss the glare Clary sends his way.

Simon bristles. “What’s your point? That’s your excuse for everything. I’m a mundane, I’m just a distraction, collateral damage, blah, blah, blah.”

Jace opens his mouth - to argue or agree he doesn’t even know - but Alec beats him to the punch.

“I think Jace means that you’re weak,” Alec pipes, and the Simon-Clary duo glare is suddenly aimed at the elder Lightwood. “Before you bite my head off, hear me out. You don’t have any training, and any demon or other downworlder could sense that you’re the most vulnerable. They’d go for you, most likely. No one here wants you dead, Simon. And anyway, sunlight may be fatal to demons, but one of the Forsaken could just easily chase us out here, and it would be handy to have a getaway ready.”

“Exactly,” Isabelle cuts in, and Jace sees the way her eyes flicker over to him for a moment.

Simon rolls his eyes. “Fine. You really know how to sweet talk a guy, Alec.”

“We’ll be right back,” Clary promises, and Simon heads back to the van.

They pile inside to speak to Madame Dorothea. Madame Dorothea, who was not as human as Jace had initially thought.

Getting the cup had been easier, fighting off Clary’s demon neighbor had admittedly been not. Clary got hurt. Jace got hurt. Isabelle got hurt. Alec… Alec got hurt. When Simon came crashing through the door, Alec’s bow in his hand, he pulled back the string and aims, jaw clenching tightly, and Jace can’t help but think that Simon was wrong. Because right now, in this moment, Simon has never looked more suited to the Shadow World then when he aimed at the skylight and banished Abbadon.

Then he lowered the bow, eyes wide and surprised behind his glasses, and the spell was only slightly broken. But it was too late, because Jace was now convinced that Simon did belong with them. He was _certain_ of it, in fact. Simon Lewis belonged to the Shadow World.

It hadn’t been the time to think about Simon’s beauty, however, because Alec lay in the corner of the room, breathing ragged and eyes fluttering closed. In a flash they all crowd around him, Isabelle pulling his head onto her lap and stroking his hair. Clary stands off to the side, hand covering her mouth in shock. Simon’s fists are clenched, and he doesn’t look away from Alec’s pale face.

Jace ignores the sting in his chest. Now isn’t the time. Instead he crouches down to Isabelle and Alec and instructs someone - _anyone_ \- to hand him a stele. He has a sinking feelings when he tears open Alec’s shirt that the runes won’t work. He can see the poison glistening in his wound, but he ignores the churning in his stomach and tries to draw the rune on Alec’s bloodied chest. It doesn’t work.

He tries again. And again. And again. Alec’s chest heaves.

Isabelle can’t find her voice. Simon just blinks slowly. Clary is the first to speak up. “What’s wrong?”

“The runes,” Jace says, and the gruffness of his voice takes him by surprise. “They won’t work. He’s got the poison of a greater demon in his blood.”

“We have to get him to a hospital,” Simon says immediately, hand coming up to grip Jace’s shoulder. It’s a gesture he’s seen Simon do with Clary and Alec and on occasion Isabelle, but right now his hand grips so tightly it almost hurts.

“There’s no way a mundane doctor would be able to heal him,” Jace says. “They wouldn’t know how to treat him.”

“The Institute,” Isabelle says suddenly, leaning down to rest her forehead against Alec’s. “We need to get him to the Institute.”

“Let’s get him to the car,” Simon says, shouldering the quiver and making his way out the door.

Jace and Isabelle pick him up, being as gentle as possible with their brother as Clary leads them out of the cluttered apartment and down to the street where Simon is throwing open the door of the van and laying down a dirty blanket across the back seat. Isabelle slowly leads them into the van, sitting on the edge and resting Alec’s head on her lap once more. Jace climbs in next, opting to crouch on the floor of the van so Alec can stretch his legs. Clary and Simon get into the front seats, and Jace looks up into Simon’s eyes. He can see the same emotions pooling in the mundane’s eyes. Panic. Worry. Fear.

“Drive, Simon. Drive like hell was following you.”

And Simon complies.

They drive and they drive, and Jace holds Alec’s hand while Isabelle brushes his damp hair from his sweaty forehead with shaking hands.

“How much longer?” Jace asks.

“Just a few minutes,” Clary responds. “Simon’s driving as fast as he can.”

“We know,” Isabelle finally says. “Thank you Simon, for what you did back there. If you hadn’t destroyed that skylight we might have all been dead.”

“It was well done,” Jace says.

Simon nods his head, and Jace can see his hands grip the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turn white.

It’s Jace’s fault. He thought they could handle whatever it was that would be coming their way. Yet he had no way of knowing that Madame Dorothea would have turned out to be a greater demon. Alec could die, and it would all be his fault. He could lose his parabatai because he hadn’t been thinking when they went into Clary’s home.

They get Alec inside of the Institute, and suddenly Hodge is there, with his hands over Alec’s face, lips turned down in worry. “Get him to the infirmary.”

Time passes by slowly for him, and it must feel like days, when in reality it’s only been an hour or two. Hodge admits he doesn’t know if his concoctions will work on the poison of a greater demon and suggests contacting the Silent Brothers, and then promptly betrays them to give the cup to Valentine.

Then Luke - apparently a werewolf - kills Hodge, and then Clary and Simon both go missing. Valentine gets the cup. Jace discovers Clary may be his sister, and it may be the panic of the moment after discovering that Valentine could possibly be his father, but his first train of thought is ‘ _dating your little sister’s best friend might get pretty awkward_ ’.

Still though, when the dust settles, Jace has a new sibling. He learns that Simon called Magnus and told him about the unlikelihood of Alec’s survival from the poison in his blood, and suddenly the warlock drops everything and spends hours in the infirmary to heal him. Isabelle tells him about the sparks of magic she saw underneath the door while she anxiously waited outside.

Alec survives, and when Jace goes to visit him, Simon is hunched over talking to Magnus in a soft tone. Magnus - who looks worse for wear - glances up when Jace shuffles into the room.

“Ah, it is you,” Magnus says, lifting an eyebrow.

“How’s Alec?” Jace asks, hovering over his parabatai. Alec’s mouth is pulled into a small frown, and beads of sweat collect at his forehead, but the color in his skin is returning, and his breathing is mostly even.

“He’ll live,” Simon says. “Thanks to Magnus.”

“Oh, Lewis, you flatter me.” Magnus winks. Even on the brink of exhaustion, Magnus still manages to be a flirt. And now, knowing that Alec is going to live another day, that unsuspecting little bit of jealousy starts to come creeping back.

He pushes it down.

Simon leaves after a while, and then Jace doesn’t see much of him after that day in the infirmary with Magnus and Alec. He doesn’t really have a reason to, after all. The action is over, he has no reason to return. Simon can go back to living the mundane life he said he wanted, and Jace can continue on being a shadowhunter and killing demons as he’d done in the years before he even met Simon.

A few days later, Clary offers to allow Jace to go finally meet his mother. Jocelyn. It’s strangely awkward, holding his sister’s hand while she leads him to Jocelyn. She looks like she’s sleeping quite peacefully, head resting against the stark white bed of the mundane hospital. He clutches Clary’s hand tighter.

Days tick by, and Jace finds himself restless. _Something_ should be happening, should it not? Valentine has the cup, Clary is preoccupied with Simon and Luke and _their_ mother, and Alec is still healing, but he’s finally up and about, even leaving the Institute for hours at a time. Isabelle is not happy with that particular detail, but Jace is just glad to have Alec standing on his own two feet after seeing him crumple to the ground like that while they were fighting Abbadon.

Then Maryse - the only mother he’s ever actually known - practically casts him out. Accuses him of working in tangent with Valentine to get the cup. The Inquisitor, Imogen Herondale, is less than pleasant to him, and he only just narrowly escaped being tossed into a prison cell in the City of Bones.

Instead he is literally exiled to Brooklyn, where they put Magnus up as his watchdog while Idris decides if he is trustworthy now that he’s Valentine’s son. "I've held prisoners for the Clave before," Magnus says, not a joking tone in his voice, and that’s that. A part of Jace wants to ask the story behind that sentence. The way Magnus says it truly makes Jace wonder.

Alec visits him the most when he stays at Magnus’s, followed by Isabelle. Occasionally the two will visit in tandem, mulling around until Magnus kicks them out. Magnus is a fairly busy person, and he isn’t around very often, and it almost feels at though Jace is just living on his own, with the exception of Chairman Meow being a constant in his life now. Still though, whenever Alec is around, Magnus seems to suddenly appear out of thin air.

“I thought you were busy,” Jace tells him.

“I was,” Magnus chirps. “Now I’m not. Glad to see we’ve solved this issue, roomie.”

“ _Right_ ,” Jace says. He remembers the way he looked at Alec when they had crashed his party in search for Clary’s memories. He remembers when Magnus had asked if he was the one with the blue eyes, and sounded disappointed when Jace had said no.

And he isn’t dumb. He sees how receptive Alec is to Magnus’s charm. The redness in his cheeks is telltale, and the way he always finds a way to put himself next to the warlock speaks volumes. Perhaps Alec isn’t as straight as Jace had originally thought. After all, looking back at it, he’s never known Alec to have ever told him about any romantic feelings for a girl.

And that puts a whole new spin on his relationship with Simon that leaves Jace floored. The way they’re so comfortable with each other… perhaps…

No. No, he knows Alec, knows that he wouldn’t be able to hide a secret relationship under his parabatai’s nose. And he knows that Simon still has feelings for Clary that he hasn’t bothered telling her about. Still though, he can’t exactly get the thought out of his head.

Then Clary and Simon come to visit him. Well, more appropriately, Clary comes to visit him. Simon is just doing his duty of being the best friend and going with her for moral support, because seeing your brother again after the shit storm that Valentine caused definitely requires moral support. They come bustling into the apartment, being led in by Alec. Simon and Alec share a quick hug that Jace closely watches to try and get a read on their feelings towards each other, but Clary quickly blocks his line of sight with a tackle hug of her own.

“Jace, it’s so nice to see you,” Clary mumbles into the crook of his neck. “Luke’s been making me keep my distance, and well, I was a little apprehensive to come, for obvious reasons.”

“I missed you, too,” He says, patting her back, and Clary pulls away to send him a wide smile.

He can finally see Alec and Simon again, and the mundane is waggling his eyebrows at something Alec had told him, and Alec just rolls his eyes and stalks off to the kitchen.

“Told you,” Simon calls out to Alec’s retreating figure.  “I told you! You should listen to me more.”

“Told him what?” Clary asks, and _yeah, told him what_? Jace wants to know too.

“Nothing that concerns you, Fray,” Simon dismisses. “Our dear shadowhunter friend here just had a freak out for no reason.”

Alec turns and glares at him.

They spend some time catching up, and Alec admits to the strange happenings going on in the Shadow World since Valentine's disappearance with the cup, and now, apparently, the sword of the Silent brothers. Then the death of the Silent Brothers. Jace wonders if he’s attempting to locate all the mortal instruments for whatever reason. The news that there have been downworlder children’s bodies showing without blood in their bodies is nauseating. A warlock, a seelie, a werewolf. _Infernal Conversion._ That’s what Magnus calls it.

The shrill sound of a phone ringing causes Clary to jump, accidentally spilling hot coffee on her hand in the process. Alec frowns, pulling his phone out of his pocket to spare a glance at it. “It’s Isabelle,” He says to the room before venturing into the back part of the apartment for some privacy.

“Got a bandaid, Magnus?” Simon asks, lifting Clary’s hand to squint at the redness of her skin. “Ouch.”

Clary rolls her eyes and pulls her hand away. “I’ll live.”

Alec comes back into the room not long after that, looking apprehensive. “So I told Izzy to tell Mom about the things Magnus was talking about, and she said she would.” Alec hesitated. "And then she told me the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us."

“Who exactly is _us_?” Simon asks in the same breath that Clary asks, “Who’s the Queen of the Seelie Court?”

“She’s the Queen of the local faerie” Magnus says.

“Tell Isabelle no,” Jace says firmly. Alec opens his mouth to respond, and Jace knows Alec enough to know he’s about to protest, so he cuts him off. “I feel like I’m going to have to repeat myself. Tell her no twice. Isabelle is not known for having the best ideas when it comes to downworlders, _especially_ the fae.”

Simon snorts.

“I actually think it’s a decent idea,” Alec says, and if he was one to pout, Jace has no doubt that he’d be doing it right now. “Maybe explain this whole theory about Valentine and the Soul Sword. We need allies now, more than ever.”

"Is it safe to go there?" Clary asks.

"Of course it's not safe," Jace responds. “The fair folk don’t exactly want to help shadowhunters or humans.”

“They can’t be any worse than the vampires,” Simon responds, suddenly seeming very interested in a loose thread on Magnus’s couch. Jace is hit with a flash of guilt. Of course Simon isn’t over it yet.

“I’m just saying,” Jace grounds out eventually. “That faeries are the offspring of demons and angels. They’re cunning like no other downworlder. Think of werewolves and vampires as the brawn to their brains. They can't exactly lie, but they love to engage in creative truth-telling. They'll find out whatever it is you want most in the world and give it to you—twist it around until they make you regret you ever wanted it in the first place."

“In any case, a request from the Seelie Court would be idiotic to ignore,” Alec says. “Like you said, they’re cunning. It would be best to get them on our side. We should accept.”

“I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news Jace, but I think my dear Alexander here is correct,” Magnus says, leaning against the counter. Alec glances at him, and Magnus winks.

“Alright, but can we back track here?” Simon asks. “Us? We? I’m not a part of that, right? Because I’m not sure about Clary here, but I do not want to get on the bad side of a bunch of faeries by accident. I know I really hate the term, but I’m a weak mundane who would like to live another day and not get killed by accidentally disrespecting a downworlder. Or turning into a rat again.”

“ _Simon_ ,” Clary whines and Simon looks at her for only a moment before his resolve crumbles.

“If I die this is on all of you,” Simon says, glaring at the shadowhunters in the room.

“I still think this is a terrible idea,” Jace says. “And anyway, am I even allowed to leave Magnus’s apartment? The Clave has been watching me like a hawk, especially that damn Inquisitor that decided to punish me. I don’t want to get on their bad side even more by breaking one of their stupid laws. This isn’t something I can weasel my way out of.”

“That’s where I come in,” Magnus pipes, his lips curling into a dangerous smile. “Never doubt my weaseling abilities, Shadowhunter, for they are epic and memorable in their scope. I specifically enchanted the contract with the Inquisitor so that I could let you go for a short time if I desired, as long as another of the Nephilim was willing to take your place."

“And where are we going to get-” Simon starts, and cuts himself off. “ _Oh_ , you mean Alec.”

“Me?” Alec asks, but he doesn’t look particularly displeased.

“Just a minute ago you were biting my head off about how important this meeting with the Seelie Court is, and now you’re just going to sit it out?” Jace asks, brows furrowing.

Alec flushes. “I think it’s more important that you go rather than me. You and Clary are Valentine’s children. I doubt the Queen is interested in meeting me. Besides, Isabelle is going. She’s practically an expert in all things faeries. You’re all supposed to meet her near Turtle Pond in the park. Apparently she knows the secret way into the Court.”

Jace rolls his eyes but rushes himself off the couch anyway, making his way over to the door. Clary and Simon also stand to their feet, trailing behind him.

“Try not to die,” Magnus calls out as Alec plops down on the couch. “I would hate to explain to the Clave that I let you out and then you got yourself killed by the Seelie Court.”

Jace grins and shuts the door behind him.

Out in the Brooklyn streets, Clary lodges herself in between Jace and Simon, and Jace knows he has no right to be irritated by that. After all, Clary is his sister, and Simon’s best friend. She wants to be as close to both of them - two people she cares about dearly - as possible.

Jace can still See simon’s worried frown over Clary’s head though, and a part of him wants to try and wipe it off his features. He wants to tell him it’ll all be fine, and nothing will go wrong, but he can’t. He can’t because he doesn’t know what might happen with the Seelie.

When they make it to the park, Izzy all but attacks Jace with a flying hug, practically launching herself at the boy. When she pulls away, her eyes gleam curiously. “How did you get Magnus to let you leave?”

“We traded him for Alec,” Simon supplies helpfully. “For a few hours. Apparently Magnus is good at screwing people over.”

“Being a warlock of hundreds of years must give you a talent or two,” Isabelle says lightly, and then glanced up at the retreating sunlight. “It’s almost time by the way. Get ready.”

“How exactly do we get into the Seelie Court?” Clary asks, looking around the empty park. “Alec said you knew where the portal was, but, uh, I’m a little confused.”

“Be patient.”

“That’s really helpful, Izzy.”

When the moon finally makes its way into the sky, Isabelle hikes up her coat and dress and steps into the pond, water lapping at her boots. “It’s time. Follow me, and stick together.”

Clary is the first to follow, hand reaching out to grab the edge of Isabelle’s coat as she complains slightly about the cold. It makes Isabelle grin. Simon is the next to go into the water, tripping on his own two feet and almost going in face first. Jace instinctively reaches out to steady him, one hand gripping his arm while the other comes around his waist. He can slowly feel Simon’s body tense up under the palm of his hand, his dark eyes looking down.

“Thanks,” Simon says, and slowly pulls away to follow Clary and Isabelle.

Jace glances down at his hands and then follows the trio.

The moon shifts, its light shining down on them as they wade their way through the water. Is seemed as though it hovered directly above them, large and mysterious and beautiful, reflecting against the light. Isabelle stops in the middle of the pond, hands rising just above her face.

“Here.” She turns to them. “A word of advice, do not eat or drink anything you are offered while we are underground. Jace, you go first.”

Jace moves past Clary and Simon, momentarily brushing his shoulder against Simon’s. He steps into the reflection of the moon and he’s gone. The water surrounds him for only a moment before it tosses him out into the dryness of the Seelie Court. He shoots out of the portal, landing on his feet, pushing the wet hair from out of his eyes.

Clary comes shooting out of the portal next, managing to land on her feet despite how disoriented she seems, stumbling as she moves to steady herself. Jace’s hand shoots out to keep her upright until the cloudy empty look from her eyes fades.

She wraps her arms around herself. “Might want to watch out for Simon. He’s the clumsiest person I know.”

True to word, Simon comes crashing out of the portal next, almost landing on the ground with a thud, but Jace quickly moves to pull him upright and standing on his own two feet. Simon’s knees seem to buckle, and he sags against Jace’s chest.

“I never want to do that again,” Simon grumbles. His wet hair tickles Jace’s chin.

“Then how do you expect to get back above ground, pray tell,” Jace murmurs.

“Good point,” Simon says, finally pulling away as Isabelle finally appears from the portal, easily landing on her feet.

It is not lost on Jace the way that Clary was looking between the two curiously for a moment, as if she caught something happening. He wonders if she’s picking up on his cues and is starting to understand what had happened under her very nose. But for the moment, she looks away and plucks Simon’s glasses off the ground and hands them to him.

“That was fun.” Isabelle says, wringing out her hair and ignoring the heaviness of her coat on her frame.

Simon stares at her in disbelief as he shoves his glasses back onto his face.

“I am buying you a dictionary so you can look up the meaning of the word fun,” Jace tells her. “I do not think you know what it means.”

“Do not be such a killjoy, Jace,” Isabelle teases, and Jace does not deign her with a response.

“What now?” Clary asks, glancing around at the dark tunnels, lit by torches as they split off into different directions. “Where do we go from here?”

“Now we wait for them to come get us,” Isabelle says. “This is their realm, and nothing happens here without them - especially the queen - knowing.”

True to word, a faerie that Isabelle points out as Meliorn eventually comes out of the shadows and beckons them down the same dimly lit passage. Isabelle goes first, and Jace trails behind so Simon and Clary could be protected from both sides is something were to go south.

The Queen stands to meet them, eyes like glass and with features as sharp as a blade. She greets them like she’d greet a lover who scorned her, with a dangerous air underneath that smile on her face. When she tells them to take a seat on the cushions scattered on the ground, Jace figures it’s best to comply with her wishes lest they get on her bad side.

She spares a curious glance at Simon, obviously noticing he is a mundane, but says nothing.

Drinks are brought out by pixies, and Jace figures that he’d best respect the fair folk and plucks one of the chalices off of the tray. The delicious smell wafts up to his nose, but Jace just holds the drink in his lap and pays it no mind.

Isabelle, Clary and Simon do the same, and he hopes the two remembers Isabelle’s warning about not consuming any food or drink belonging to the faeries.

However Simon dips his finger into the liquid, swirling around the petals and crushing it in between his fingers. Jace sends a warning glance in his direction and he puts the drink down on the floor next to him, wiping away most of the pink residue left on his fingers on his pants.

“Is there something wrong?” a pixie asks. “Do you not want the drink?”

“The last faerie drink I had didn’t agree with me,” is what Simon says, and Jace thinks that’s putting it rather mildly.

News of the Seelie Court blaming the vampires for the other downworlder deaths is not a surprise. After all, they are the downworlders associated with anything that involved blood. Jace knows it was not the vampires though, there is no way they would be so blasé about killing a seelie or werewolf or warlock. There would be chattering of boasts among the vampire community, and it would have eventually reached Jace’s ears.

Yet the local vampires stayed silent.

He tries to reason with her, and the Queen wastes no time picking apart Jace and Clary, speaking candidly about their father and his secrets. Secrets that she refuses to disclose and instead tells the two to ask him themselves. She calls them experiments, and it’s enough to have Jace bubbling with anger, on the edge of making a huge mistake by snapping back.

It’s when Simon lets out a small yelp that breaks his anger and Jace quickly glances over to him in worry. Simon leans against the cushion and holds his hand up to his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Clary asks.

“Sorry, a sprite bit me,” Simon says dismissively, shaking his hand to try and get rid of the stinging sensation. “No biggie.”

(Jace misses when Simon sticks his finger in his mouth with a wince.)

When it’s all said and done, Jace decides he’s done and they all get up to leave. Isabelle is already in the corner, having a hushed conversation with the faerie Meliorn. Simon helps Clary to her feet, and then they all go to leave.

"A moment." The Queen rose. "One of you must remain."

Jace paused halfway to the door, and turned to face her. "What do you mean?"

Then the Queen gestures at Simon with her clawed hand. "Once our food or drink passes mortal lips, the mortal is ours. You know that, Shadowhunter."

Simon blinks and then glances down at his hand, where the small red bite mark from the sprite stands out stark against his skin. “Shit.”

“What did you do?” Jace asks.

“I licked the blood off of my finger,” Simon admits. “The dust from the petals was still on my finger.” When he moved towards the door, slowly and apprehensively, and stopped at a moment, he finds himself unable to continue to go forward. “She’s right, I’m stuck down here.”

His calm demeanor hides the anger that is blooming in Jace’s chest. “I should’ve expected a trick like this from you. What do you want with us? What do you want with a mundane? There are thousands of them above ground.”

“But this one in particular is special,” the Seelie Queen says, as if that should explain everything.

“How?” Simon asks hotly.

“You don’t know it yet, but I can sense it in you,” she purrs. “There is change coming, and I must admit I’m rather curious.”

“I feel like you’re using me as leverage,” Simon admits.

“Perhaps I am.” The Queen shrugs. “Though herein lies the true question: leverage against whom?”

“Is there anyone besides us who would want him?” Isabelle asks.

“Hey!” Simon yelps. “I’m offended by that.”

“Not the time, Simon,” Clary hisses.

“Okay, enough with the riddles, what do you want for him?” Jace snaps.

The Queen lets out a soft hum. “Fine, Jonathan, if you want the _mundane_ so badly I will give him to you. The boy must simply be freed with a kiss.”

“You want me to kiss you?” Simon asks, and _no_ , that is definitely not happening.

The Queen’s laugh sounds like a bell. “No no, my sweet pet, not I.”

“So who do you want me to kiss?” Simon asks.

“If it gets you out of here, I’ll kiss you,” Isabelle says, and Simon’s eyes go wide. Jace is a second away from protesting when the Queen stops them all.

"While this is all very amusing," the Queen responds coolly, leaning forward, "the kiss that will free the boy is the kiss that he most desires." There is a cruel delight in her face and her voice is brutally sharp. "Only that and nothing more."

Jace thinks about the way that Simon sometimes looks at Clary, and his chest feels tight.

“Sorry to break it to you,” Simon says, taking Jace completely by surprise. “There’s no one here I _desire_ like that.”

“The kiss you desire the most, or the one who desires to kiss you the most, it’s all irrelevant,” the Queen says dismissively, but the tone in her voice lets Jace know that she is thoroughly amused by their predicament. “But it has to be done in order for you to be able to leave.”

He knows he has to come forward if they want Simon to leave this place. The way that the Queen is eyeing him means she knows, and she’s patient enough to wait for him to decide to swallow his pride and admit he has feelings. This is a game for her, a form of entertainment.

“So, if you do not truly desire anyone in that nature, then the one who desires your kiss the most will suffice,” the Queen chirps, and despite her eyes being a single solid color, Jace can practically feel the cold blue eyes of hers boring a hole into his head.

“There isn’t anyone who desires me like that either,” Simon says desperately. “Do you expect me to stay down here forever?”

“While I think you do have a certain charm and I would adore to keep you for the duration of your mundane life, I am afraid you are mistaken when you say no one desires you in such a manner.” The Queen’s smile is sharp and dangerous. “I believe they know who they are. But if they are content to let you rot down here with us fair folk, then so be it.”

“What do you mean?” Simon asks, and that’s when Jace finally steps forward. Simon’s eyes cut over to him, and for a moment he looks confused and panicked and then the realization begins to peek through, and his eyes grow wide. “Jace?”

“It’s just a kiss,” Jace says, and he steps close. Simon’s hands immediately shoot up to grip his shoulders and keep him an arm’s length away. Jace presses himself a little closer, and their breath mixes together. “You can close your eyes and think of something else if you’d like. Think of England.”

“I’ve never been,” Simon says, but his eyes slowly flutter shut all the same.

Jace’s hands come up to hold Simon’s head, thumbs resting against his cheeks, and then he leans in.

Kissing Simon isn’t what Jace expected. His lips are nice and pliant, somewhat chapped and softer than Jace would have expected them to be. Simon’s grip on his shoulder is tight, and the hands are neither pushing him away or pulling him closer, instead keeping him stationary.

It’s not a gentle kiss, but it’s not heated. It’s just a kiss.

But then Simon’s mouth starts to move against his, and everything else is white noise to him. Everything that isn’t Simon just disappears for the moment. His fingers twitch, aching to pull the boy closer, but he holds back, respecting the length that Simon keeps them apart.

Then that hand that had been gripping his shoulder moved up to the curve of his neck, and Simon slowly stepped closer, and that was all the invitation that Jace needed before he crashed against Simon, hands coming up to wrap around his shoulders, palms resting against the blades of his back. Simon’s hand slides up again, to tangle itself into his hair, with the other moving away from his shoulder to the front of Jace’s chest and gripping his shirt.

Then Simon breaks the kiss, forehead resting against Jace’s, and the disappointment quickly creeps into Jace, but Simon only sucks in a breath and then crush his lips against Jace’s again, more frantic and needy and desperate. The small groan that comes from the back of his throat when Simon’s tongue swipes against his lower lips comes as a surprise to both of them, however, and it is what finally breaks the spell.

Simon pulls away, sluggish and lethargically this time, and slowly blinks and glances around the room like he completely forgot about where they were. Jace can’t help but soak in the way Simon looks, lips wet and face flushed a beautiful red. Jace wants to kiss him again.

But Simon slowly untangles himself from Jace and holds his arms up to his chest, hunching into himself and finally looking down at the ground. Jace closes his eyes for a moment, composes himself, and looks up at the Seelie Queen, who is doing a terrible job of concealing her amusement, hand coming up to only half cover the grin on her face.

“Was that good enough?” Jace asks, and he wonders how his voice can sound so steady. “Are you satisfied?”

“Quite,” the Queen chirps, and Jace wants to wipe that smug smile off her face, but Isabelle tugs his arm and shakes her head. He can see the questions shining in her eyes, and he knows he’ll have to answer those questions. Probably sooner rather than later.

“Are you free now, Simon?” Isabelle asks the boy.

Simon would not look him in the eye as he went over to the door and held his hand out against the thick vines of the entrance, not surprised when his hand went through the barrier without an issue. “It worked.” His voice sounds soft. “Can I leave now?”

“As much as I would love to see the aftermath of what just transpired, you are no longer bound to this place. You may leave.” The Queen smiles, all teeth, and Jace looks away. “I wish you the best of luck, _Simon_.”

Clary is quick to latch herself onto Simon’s arm and send him a questioning look that gets ignored, and Jace knows he won’t be the only one with explaining to do. While he knows what he’s going to tell Isabelle when she finally asks, Jace wonders what Simon is going to tell Clary.

Meliorn leads them back up to the park, and Isabelle huffs and puffs about how she is breaking up with the faerie as soon as she gets back into a dry pair of clothes. Then her mind seems to click back into place, and she glances back and forth between Simon and Jace, and the question is on the tip of her tongue.

“Let’s give them a moment,” Clary says suddenly, grabbing Isabelle by sleeve of her green coat, and her eyes are knowing when she glances at him. She figured it out before the kiss. Perhaps it had been the way that Jace had held Simon after he came out of the portal. Or perhaps she’d had her suspicions long before that, back when he was adamant about saving Simon when he was a rat. Jace doesn’t know.

Simon sits a little ways from the pond, plopping down on the grass not caring about the coolness of the night or the fact that he was covered in water. Jace stares at him for a moment, contemplating his next move. It would be best to talk about it, to get it all in the open. No use denying it now.

He wonders why it took him so long; he used to be so brutally honest, and it had been a trait he was strangely proud of. Yet he’d refused to be open to Simon.

He sits on the cool ground next to Simon, and the boy doesn’t even glance up at first, finger digging into the half frozen dirt. He can see Clary and Isabelle’s retreating figure while he waits for Simon to speak. He doesn’t. Those dark eyes of his stay trained on the floor and he refuses to look up.

“Say something,” Jace says. Anything to end the deafening silence.

“You know, you have a really strange way of showing your feelings,” is what Simon chooses to open with, finally looking up at Jace. “Had the Queen not mentioned anything, I doubt I would have been able to pick up on them. Clary did always say I was oblivious to anyone’s feelings that weren’t my own.”

“How ironic it is that she isn’t aware of your feelings towards her then,” Jace says, and Simon doesn’t looks surprised in the slightest that he figured it out.

“I love her,” Simon admits after a moment. “But I am not in love with her. Sure, I have a crush on her, but it’s new. Doesn’t feel right sometimes, to be honest. But Clary’s the only person outside of my family that I’ve ever truly loved. A part of me thought that it was always supposed to be her, I guess. Now I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Have you never thought of yourself with anyone else?” Jace asks, and he knows Simon understands the implication of his question. _Have you ever thought of yourself with me?_

“Well, not to say I hadn’t thought of it,” Simon admits looking Jace directly in the eye, as if that revelation didn’t just shatter Jace’s entire world view. “Because I have. With tons of people. When I figured out I liked boys just as I liked girls, it sort of opened a whole new bunch of possibilities. Had an awkward crush on my buddy Eric for a good month, actually.”

Jace wisely chooses to ignore that.

“I feel like there is a _but_ somewhere in here,” Jace opts to say.

“That’s because there is,” Simon says, biting his lip. ”Look, Jace, like I said, the thought has crossed my mind more than once. About me and you. Us. It’s just, I know things, you know? Didn’t feel like it would be fair to, er, particular people if we were to be together.”

The tone in his voice leaves no room for Jace to start asking questions about what the hell he means.

“I think,” Jace starts, carefully picking his words. He doesn’t want to ruin his chances, not when he’s this close, not when he knows what it’s like to have Simon on his lips. “when it comes down to it, this isn’t about anyone else. It’s about me and you. It’s about how we feel, and what we want. I know what I want, Simon. Do you?”

The moonlight hits him, and Simon has never looked more beautiful, in Jace’s opinion.

Simon softly knocks their shoulders together. “I’m starting to.”

Jace thinks about everything happening right now, the uprising that’s brewing, the Clave’s distrust of him, the estranged relationship both he and Clary have with their father. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but he thinks about the way Simon kissed him, the way the boy admitted to having feelings for him, the way he alluded to the possibility of a future together when it’s all over.

And it’s enough, for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Ending it before Simon becomes a vampire because it felt right.
> 
> Please be on the lookout for two companion pieces: One that focuses on the friendship between Simon and Alec, and another about Simon dealing with his vampirism.
> 
> Feel free to message me on [tumblr](http://simonjace.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
